Don’t attach… Just be!
“Detachment means letting go, no attachment simply means letting be” ~ Stephen Levine
Non-attachment is not detaching. To detach is to move away from. To remove. To detach is to separate. Separation leads to duality. Duality between the heart and mind produces an internal separation which can bring conflict and suffering. Detachment can also result in suppression. I am always preaching that we should not attach to our thoughts. That we should sit with our emotions and just let them be.
I’ve had to face some very negative thoughts and emotions recently when a close friend broke a promise which has had a direct impact on my life.
For many months, I had been practicing yoga and trying to live a peaceful yogic life. Then, out of the blue – “WHAM”… A broken promise throws everything into uncertainty and arouses feelings that I considered to belong only in my past.
My peaceful thoughts were replaced by bitter, angry feelings as I asked myself how this friend could break such a profound promise. How could this friend be so thoughtless and inconsiderate and why did this friend not call to explain what was going on?
Life has a way of testing us when we get complacent about where we are and what we have achieved. My conditioned response to the breaking of this promise was not pleasant. It took a number of days to center myself and come back to a place of peace.
To do this, I breathed deeply. I sat with the emotions and tried not to attach to them. I realised during this process that I was deeply attached to the positive state of mind and happy emotions I had prior to the breaking of this promise. I had been practicing non-attachment to negative thoughts and emotions whilst completely attaching to the positive!
All suffering is in the mind. No one can cause you to suffer, it’s how you attach and react to your thoughts that dictates the level of your suffering.
Take the time to forgive yourself when negative thoughts and feelings come your way. Forgive yourself for attaching to the positive things in your life. Show yourself compassion as you forgive yourself and allow your thoughts and feelings to just be.
Remember that people are generally looking after their own welfare and may not consider the impact of their actions on the life and thoughts of another.
Forgive the other person. This will help to release any bitterness you may feel.
Every moment is a brand new “now” full of new opportunities for you to be present. Life’s only constant is change so don’t attach to the positive or the negative. Simply allow yourself to BE exactly who and where you are. Accept reality and go with the flow.